As we cross over the one month mark since Sophie’s birth, I find myself already passing on the pearls of wisdom that I have managed to acquire in this short time to other expeccting mothers. For kicks, I thought… why not share them with the internet world too.. Surely I am not the only one who has experienced some of these.
1. My heart is so full, I have been expecting it to explode or something
Not even exaggerating here. This tiny human is my world. I said to someone about three days in, I would jump in front of a bus for her. In one short month, she has managed to drastically shift my perspective on my life’s goals and how I approach my marriage. It is no longer just about me striving to further my career, shower my husband with love and enjoy our free time. I am already thinking 20 years ahead at the life that I am creating for her.
I’ve been really challenged through this shift, and I think this will be a lifelong marathon where I will constantly be reflecting and evaluating how my choices will in turn impact on my child. In comparison to the lifestyle and perspective I once held, its not at all a bad change.
2. Note to self: Surround yourself with supportive & awesome people who get you & the journey you’re on!
If you want to make any friends at mothers’ group, don’t tell them if your baby is sleeping well at three weeks, whether you plan to return to work, that you’re not nearly as tired as you thought you would be, or whether you are pro/con co-sleeping. Just tread very carefully around the topic of sleep.. it’s a doozie.
Honestly though, find a good group of mums that you trust and enjoy spending time with. I checked out a few groups prior to giving birth and I am so glad that I did. One in particular, I arrived for coffee with a group of about 20 women who were pregnant and due around the same month as me. It all seemed to be going well until they asked whether I would be going back to work after materntiy leave.
Needless to say, they did not really care too much for my response and I left shortly after that due to an “urgent call from a friend who needed me”. I’ve been really blessed though to have an amazing group of friends who are becoming parents or are already. We meet up once a fortnight at a friend’s house and it is refreshingly great to be able to ask questions, chat about all things baby and just connect with people who I know aren’t judging me for my life choices.
I have the perspective that every person is different, as are their children. So I am not one to pass judgement or make assumptions based on a set of circumstances I know nothing about. Seriously people.. be kind to each other okay!
3. Browsing online shopping sites during night time feeds is dangerous game to play
It’s only been four weeks and I have already managed to make online purchases & wake the next morning with no recollection. It was only when I opened my inbox to find a bunch of “your receipt for …” emails, that I realised what had happened. Kudos to my midnight conscious self though because they were all necessary items that I had been meaning to look in to further.
4. More than once you will find yourself pushing an empty pram, rocking a shopping trolley or swaying from side to side when your baby is not with you.
Yep. Did this in the line to get some takeaway the other day. I had Sophie in the baby carrier and the pram was loaded up with the grocery basket filled with my purchases. I was getting some funny looks and then I realised. *excuse me while I go die now
5. You’ve never known fury until someone wakes your child after a 5 hour sleep refusal marathon.
Not even kidding. We had a particularly difficult week with Sophie last week due to congestion. After almost an entire day of her not sleeping, I finally managed to put her down and some door knockers came by.
The first time I was pretty gracious to the fact that they caused my dog to start barking the house down and almost woke my child; but when they returned a second time after I had told them very clearly that I was not interested in the book of Mormon to ask me if I was “sure” I did not want to hear their message…. lets just say they got a rather different response.. One I am not particularly proud of *Oops
6. The new and improved muffin top that once was your pregnant belly is here to stay. Accept it and think of it as a “token gift” from your pregnancy.
I’m not even worried. The plus side is that breastfeeding is like the best weight loss method I have ever come across, so the rest of me is looking rather good.
At the end of the day, I have this awesome little person and I know people who would have given their right arms or more to be able to have a child. So I choose to love myself and be stoked that I got to carry and birth my beautiful daughter and let the rest go.
7. Beware clucky over 50’s women in the shopping centre who think it’s okay to come up and touch the baby without permission
Countless times this has happened already. My new response is to ask them what brand of foundation they use and reach out to touch their faces. I can’t quite put my finger on why they run away at this point, but it does the trick!
8. 10 minute drives away are no more!
The other day I had to ‘pop up the road’ for something. For real, I pulled that car over 4 times before I even parked because my beautiful little treasure decided to play the “lets spit the dummy out and crack it” game over and over again. The silver lining is that she is too young to need entertainment in the car so I am not yet being tortured by the frozen soundtrack.
9. It’s all about team work
In one month, I have eaten dinner at the same time as my husband only a handful of times. I’m learning that he is the love of my life and my husband.. but he is also my partner in crime and team-mate when it comes to raising my little bundle of joy. This means that sometimes we are going to have to forfeit those dinner time catch ups in order to ensure that all of her needs are met. I’m okay with this because I get to see my husband rock the dad gig and that just makes me love him even more.
10. Self-doubt happens and when it does.. approach google with caution
There have been many times this month where I have found myself wondering whether I am doing this parenting gig right, whether I am using the right brand of nappy cream, whether I am wrong to be sleeping my child on her side because she simply hates being on her back. Many times I have taken to google to try and find some magic answer to some of these questions.
I am learning that everyone has an opinion on how to do things, and all of these opinions are going to be different. So take what works for you and run with it (within reason of course). But again, reach out to other mums that you trust, mums that have gone before you (they have some pearls of wisdom to offer too) and be kind to yourself.
I hope you get something out of the above list. I’m still learning so I’m sure there will be a follow up to this one down the track.
Have an epic week 🙂