I made a silly mistake last week. I tried to implement a new sleeping routine for Sophie in an attempt to get her to sleep through the night. But as the title says.. if it ain’t broke…
And it ain’t. Sophie is doing well in terms of sleeping. On average, she feeds every four hours during the day; and then we are usually blessed with a five or six hour stint of sleep at night with a night feed somewhere between midnight & 2:00am.
I met up with an old friend last weekend and she told me how her son was “sleeping through the night” at Sophie’s age and suggested that I read this book that changed her life. I guess the lure of an uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep was the reason behind my choice to give it a go, but honestly, it wasn’t necessary and we paid for it with a baby who didn’t get the sudden change in routine.
I’m not saying its a bad book or that it didn’t have a few valid points around establishing a routine; but I felt as though this plan that was meant to elleviate stress and help my child sleep more did nothing but make me feel inadequate and as though I was failing at baby sleep 101. It also made me believe that in order to implement said routine, leaving the house with a baby.. Ever.. Would be dictated by the many nap times of the day.
What worked?
Not a lot, to be honest. Perhaps what worked is that I gained some perspective through the process and was able to find a clear stance on a few perspectives on infant sleep.
What didn’t work?
The whole concept of cry it out. I refuse to implement controlled crying. I just can’t do it. Maybe when she’s older I will change my mind on the topic; but for now it’s a no from me.
I’ll admit, I’m a softy when it comes to my little girl, but is that such a bad thing? To simply refuse to respond to her at this early stage in her development does not sit well with me.
The other thing that didn’t work for me was this strict regime of feeding & sleeping. The book wanted me to feed Sophie every three hours and only allow her to be awake for 45 minutes max. It also suggested that naps in the pram or in the car were an absolute no no and that I should simply plan my life better.
In the 24 hours that I attempted this routine, we barely got to spend time with our daughter. I felt as though the day to day interactions that we have with her where she is smiling, cooing, having tummy time, chilling in her baby swing and enjoying cuddles went out the window.
I’ve deliberately left out the name of the book because I don’t want to come across as critical of those who have implemented its methods. If it works for you and your child; I’m truly happy for you. My point is that it was silly of me to try and change Sophie’s routine when there really isn’t anything wrong with the way she sleeps.
I’ve said this before in a previous post, I’m learning that one of the golden tickets of raising a child is that there is conflicting advice on all aspects all around & it’s about having wisdom to find what works for you and your family.
I just wish I had recognised this last week during my coffee catch up. Next time I will be stoked that the other person has found something that works for them and continue on my merry way.
You bring up a very valid point about different methods working differently for different people. I too was never comfortable with the cry-it-out method for very similar reasons – and it seemed that neither was my little one for she responded even more negatively if I didn’t respond to her. Plus as a mother it tugged at my heartstrings to hear her crying and obviously needing to soothe her in some way. However, I know people who have tried other methods, including the one you referred to, and they speak to the positives of those methods. But to your point – you’ve got to go with what works for you and take all that’s out there with a nod and smile.